Contemplate this...

I had contrived this idea that I needed no one in a romantic sense. I thought my loneliness was simply that, being that I was alone. I thought adding this man into my house and as a constant figure in my life would help remedy that. But as nice as he is, as wonderful as the pleasure of his company can be, it makes me stress harder, and the truth is I am still alone.
I still sleep at night by myself wishing I wasn't, and still think back to the days and nights when I would lay by Steve, where I was, filled with bliss. Bliss because I was in love, so thoroughly, so completely, I never allowed myself to contemplate it's end because it seemed to painful to even consider, but now?
Now I live it and I was right, too painful to even think about.